Heartfelt

According to Dictionary.com, 'heartfelt' can be defined as: "deeply or sincerely felt."

For the first time in a long time {if ever}, I experienced heartfelt listening and understanding recently.

It happened when I was experiencing a particularly low point in the month {let's be real, ladies...we ALL have them!}, there was a full moon, and the enemy was particularly bent on attacking me. All of these factors together created a full-blown storm of insecurity, self-doubt, negative self-talk, and a lack of confidence in who I am and WHOSE I am.

Someone who is very near to my heart and whom I care for a great deal could sense that there was something bothering me. I had been able to suppress it for a few days, but it began to bubble up to the surface like a pot of water ready to boil over.

When they approached me about what was on my mind, I was reticent to share what was truly brewing within. My fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) was that if I expose my innermost vulnerabilities, surely this person will want none of it and vanish...yet one more reason you should never give into fear or assume anything.

This person gently and lovingly drew this information out of me by continuing to ask questions. And not in a threatening manner; but in a manner which communicated to me that they truly cared about what was on my heart and mind. And the kicker? This person had been in an environment for 8-9 hours {or more}, that could be very emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. No, they weren't working! :-)

I am reminded of a quote by Melanie Beattie I once read:

"You don't blast a heart open. You coax and nurture it open, like the sun does to a rose."

This person never got defensive because of anything I said, even though, they could have. They were open and receptive to what I was sharing.

Their non-verbal communication was just as effective, if not more so, than their verbal communication.  They made constant eye contact with me, their posture was not indicative of being uninterested, and the tone of their voice made me feel safe and valued.

This person listened intently, I mean, truly listened and heard what I was saying. I felt honored, respected, cared for, and cherished by the way in which they handled this delicate situation.

See, no one truly enjoys being exposed and vulnerable. And yet, at the end of the conversation, I felt that a gap had been bridged. There we were, on the same side of the fence again. And I felt stronger because of it.

This experience left me...bewildered.

I thought to myself, 'What if...just what if, everyone were to interact with others in this manner? Wouldn't the world be a much nicer place to live?'

See, this person was less concerned with themselves, their feelings, and what they wanted. And they were more concerned with me, my feelings, and what was eating away at me.

Most people are more concerned with being understood than understanding others.

Most people are only listening with the intent to respond; not with the intent to hear what the speaker is actually saying, and what is really on their heart.

I can say that I have walked away from this encounter with a deeper, richer sense of relationship; a better understanding of what it takes to make any relationship work and function better.

My challenge to you is to think on this post...on my remarkable experience...and try to implement this in just one relationship you are currently in. Just one...and tell me if you don't walk away feeling better about yourself and your relationship.

And now, if I can bottle this heartfelt communication and sell it...